so the truth is that the past several months have been some hard months for me and nate. like, harder on our marriage than any others, i think. I remember when we first got married my dad told us that sometimes marriage loses its shine and there's not a whole lot of romance or even much fondness at all. And you just have to be stubborn and hold on and not let the ol' devil get between you. And when he said that I thought, "ugh. bleak. maybe that's how my parents sometimes feel...but not us."
but yea...I get it now. the holding on just because you're committed and too stubborn to let the devil have his way. i'm glad we're stubborn, but it's no way to sustain a marriage.
so we've really turned our energy to repairing and reconnecting. we've had occasion over the past couple days to think back on some of the sacrifices we made in our early marriage. and we've had some barrier-breaking conversations that have helped me to see nate's paradigm so much more dearly and to feel incredibly loyal and tender for what we've been through together.
so tonight when i walked into the living room and found him asleep on the too-short-for-his-height loveseat i just stopped and stood there a minute and loved him. and felt all the feelings of gratitude and tenderness that i could reach. it was really healing. and sweet.
he is so good. true-hearted and loyal to his core.
step aside, lucifer. we're getting our groove back.