Wednesday, March 19, 2014

On My Mind At Midnight

We've had a busy few days.  I could start every post like that.  As much as I try to be really purposeful about what I commit us to -- we always end up busy.  Hopefully we are engaged in the needful, helpful things.  Henry has just started his first (since 4 yr old T-ball) baseball season.  I have such mixed feelings about it.  It's a big time commitment -- lots of long practices and lots of games.  I hope he loves it.  First practice was tonight; it was two+ hours long (!) -- Nate's report: grouchy coach (Jack-A was the adjective of choice) and lots of wasted time (coach throwing grounders to one kid while the other twelve stand in line waiting -- derrrrrrr).  Henry's report: "it was great - a little too long, and sometimes boring.  My legs were cramping cause I was crouched down so much, waiting for the ball to come to me the whole time...and it only came to me once!  I've gotta get off third base!"
And as we were walking upstairs for bed, Henry looked over his shoulder and said quietly, "And I hope my coach smiles a little more during the season -- he only smiled once at practice today."  

I feel like it's part of my mom job description to expose my kids to lots of different things and help them find the activities they really love -- but sometimes I worry about the way sports get such a big share of popular attention and time.  Especially for boys.  It feels like you really have to swim upstream, go against the grain, (choose your metaphor) to culture your boy in a venue other than a field/court.  When will there be time for woodworking?  And taking produce to the pigs?  And fishing with his grandpa?  And growing things from seeds? And making those recipes in the Vitamix cookbook? (Henry's been pouring over that thing in bed for the past three nights -- he's got all kinds of shakes and salsas and sauces bookmarked).

Tonight Nate committed to buy a chicken coop from a friend.  I looked at him with we're-getting-this-all-wrong eyes.  "Why are we giving six hours a week to baseball practice and buying a chicken coop?  You and Henry should be building a coop together."      

I don't know what the point of all this is, but to say that I'm conflicted about the baseball commitment. And I'm an ornery sports mom.

Shifting gears...
I've been praying to understand my kids' individual needs, how they need to be loved and nurtured. I have some specific concerns about Lily.  I feel like the Lord is more eager to answer that variety of prayer than any other (at least in my experience).  Over the last few weeks I feel like I have received some very distinct impressions about how to mother her - when to put everything else aside and be with her, how to engage her.  I feel so thankful for that insight.  I don't feel like the issues are magically disappearing (parenting is big and long) -- I just feel like the Lord is revealing His interest and concern; I can feel His love for me and for Lily in the quiet impressions and gentle guidance.

Tomorrow starts early and ends late.  I need to get to bed.  Always more on my mind.  More to write about...


  1. I'm still reading! I found you years ago through Bloom and have been following you ever since. Thank you so much for sharing this! You really are an inspiration to me, Emily! I wish we could be real-life friends. And I for one really appreciate you sharing personal thoughts. It is encouraging and gives me little reminders like, "Oh, I should really pray more specifically about how to help my children like Emily does!" Anyway, thanks for sharing and inspiring me through your words.

  2. I'm still here, too! Thank goodness for Feedly once Google reader gave up the ghost. You are so authentic in your journey as a mom and person here on earth and I appreciate my through the computer friendship with you. Thank you for being brave enough to share your thoughts publicly because you are an example and your light blesses others.