the previous post was not a reflection of my dissatisfaction with nate or with our marriage. i am immensely satisfied with both. it was just a bit of introspection (the writing actually helped me get to the bottom of what i was feeling), and a reflection on some of my own weaknesses/internal struggles. i feel like i've been having little moments of illumination all week. insights, i guess, into things like selfishness, ingratitude, pride...and their virtuous counterparts.
the kids and i had such a nice, slow day together today. we sat on the living room floor for two hours and sorted a million plastic beads by color and then made necklaces and bracelets. then we did chores and grocery shopped.
nate worked all day, but we had decided that we wanted to have something of a family party tonight when he got home. so we did. i let the kids plan the dinner menu - they chose...hot dogs. (fake smile!) i bought plenty of condiments, and toppings, and good buns to make it enjoyable for those of us who do not fancy processed meat remnants. (shudder). we melted cheese on the buns under the broiler, i sauteed some onions and purple cabbage, we sliced tomato & avocado and had an assortment of pickles and peppers. lily and i are obsessed with pickled products. lily would eat dill pickles and olives as an appetizer at every meal if permitted. i've been craving a hamburger lately, er - i've been craving all the fixin's lately (not so much the beef), so tonight's dinner really hit the spot. and of course we had to have chips and pellegrino aranciata, too.
best part of the party was the lego building contest. (henry's idea). we had little timed competitions to see who could come up with the most impressive creation. we had a few different categories: something to travel to the moon in, an intimidating prison, and then a free-for-all final round - no category restrictions and no time limits. henry is so creative and such a good builder - his creations trumped ours every time. lily played too -- she would just snap like 6 blocks together and then tell us all about what it was ('dis is the bewenstein beahs. dis is papa beah and dis is sistah beah!')
i love quiet nights in with my little brood.