Nate and Em: Q & A on History of Love
How long have you been together? Known each other for nine years. Here's the breakdown: Dated over the course of 3.5 years, with a few (a-hem!) interruptions, and a 2 year LDS mission thrown in there.
Engaged: 3.5 mo.
Married: Almost 5 years (!)
How long did you date? I'd say we dated exclusively, and face to face, (ie not including any of the mission time, in which we exchanged some supremely cheesy correspondence,) for about a year total.
How old is he? Younger than thirty (not by much anymore!), older than me.
How old is she? Younger than him, legal to drink.
Who eats more? Definitely Nate. When we were dating, he was all about bang for buck, all you can eat, and Beto's. He eats less now, but his chief concern, when we choose a restaurant on date night, is still, "Am I going to get enough food?"
Who said "I love you" first? He did, shortly after we started dating. It was late fall of '99, I believe, we'd spent the late afternoon and evening on a hike up RoxyAnn, (the mountain I grew up on.) I had gracefully managed to sustain a several inch-long scrape/tear down my leg after a clumsy encounter with a tangle of barbed wire. When we got back to my house, while he was neosporining and bandaging my wound, he leaned over in an unexpected moment and whispered, "I love you."
Who is taller? I'm 5'6". He's 6'1" -- Always nice to have the option for 7" heels, you know, since I'm so into stilettos and stuff.
Who sings better? Oh, (giggling) neither of us can sing for beans, but I'd say I'm a skosh more musically inclined than he is, if only for the decade of piano lessons, and that one time I was the music chair person at church. Sometimes I get a little irked when he tries to croon out the bass line when we're singing the hymns in church, but that's just the snooty sourpuss in me who's upset that she can no longer carry the alto line for the off-key-distraction singing next to her. When I really stop and think of it, it's pretty darling that he's trying to expand his musical horizons.
Who is smarter? I'd be curious to hear what some of y'all who know us think on this one. I'd like to say we're equally smart in different ways, but maybe I'm just too proud and stubborn (see # 14) to admit that I'm dumber. Nate probably knows more things about more stuff than I do. (How was that for an intelligent sentence?) He's a dedicated learner -- always reading and talking to pundits to learn more. But I'd say I'm maybe a quicker learner and a little more creative problem solver than he is ? Ew, it feels so odd to talk about my own brains like this. I think we just have different capacities -- I'm good with language and words, he's good with numbers and science. He's great with people--ultra social; I'm a little more introverted.
Who does the laundry? I do all the laundry. He does all of his own ironing. I wear wrinkly clothes.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? (Laying in the bed) He does. (Looking at the bed, from the foot of it) I do.
Who pays the bills? Well, I guess that all depends on what you mean by "pays the bills." He makes most of the money that pays them. I do most of the physical payment of the bills. But we have a very joint approach to the money management and we scarcely pay so much as a library fine without the other knowing about it.
Who cooks dinner? I do. Unless I'm sick or otherwise detained, and then he does. His specialties are cheese crisps, burritos, and nachos. In short, he's mastered most dishes which require a tortilla (in any of its forms) and melted cheese.
Who is more stubborn? Me, definitely me. But he's no picnic.
Who kissed who first? He. Kissed. Me.
More than I was expecting. I was dropping him off (don't know why I'd driven?) after our first "real date" (smoothies and a flick (Notting Hill)) and he leaned in for a smooch as he was getting out of the car...and then he kept kissing. And kissing. 'Til I pulled away, a little uncomfortably, and said, "Well...thanks. 'Night." He was mortified. Said he swore to himself that he wouldn't call me 'til I called him. I didn't call him, but I did call my friend, Anne, who was cooking sea food, I believe. And the news of our lip lock caused her to drop her shrimp all over the floor.
He called one, maybe two, days later.
Who asked who out? Our courtship was so casual at first -- neither of us really asked the other out, we just kind of mutually agreed that we'd like to spend some more time together...so we did. I'd say he did most of the initiating, though. I guess we're kind of "traditional" like that.
Who proposed? He did. It was a pretty dismal proposal, (I was wearing flip flops, we were in several inches of snow, I didn't love my ring,) but the great thing about a dismal proposal is that things can only (hopefully) get better thereafter, and it doesn't leave one disillusioned with rosy expectations of romance forever more. Now I think back with sort of pathetic fondness about our proposal...and more than anything, I'm just glad he asked. And glad I said yes. And glad we went through with all of it. Because that "yes" was the best affirmative answer I've given in my life so far.
Who has more friends? Nate has a bigger sum of acquaintances who he calls friends 'cause he's a glad hand. Talks to everyone, everywhere we go. But I'd say I have more close friends who I can call up and talk to for an hour about everything from the latest sale on strawberries at the market to the complicated-ness of three-year-old discipline.
Who has more siblings? Whole siblings? Me. I have two brothers and two sisters. However, he has definitely shared a household with more people than I have. He has 3 whole sisters. One half brother. Two step siblings and a host of others who have, at one time or another, been related to him somehow. It took me a long time to successfully navigate my way around his family tree.
Who wears the pants in the relationship? I very much believe in a shared pants philosophy. People might think, looking in from the outside, that one or the other of us wears the pants exclusively, but those people would be wrong. We've each definitely got a leg in 'dem pants.
Thanks for the tag, Micah (I think it's my first one.) If you want to play, consider yourself tagged.