Once upon a time there was a little girl named Lily with steely blue eyes and a perfect button nose, who liked to be wrapped up like a human burrito.
And she had a cute (CUTE) pair of stretchy giraffe-print pants. A very important detail, to be sure.
She had a mom, whose heart she melted on a daily basis.
She also had a dad. At two minutes old, she had him wrapped around her little finger (as they say.) And that's where he stayed. And her mom, who had a not-so-secret crush on her dad, thought that was real sweet.
And she had a big brother who sometimes called her, "baby." And sometimes called her "Lils-a-bug," and sometimes called her "Snookie." And her mom, who had a not-so-secret crush on her big brother, thought that was real sweet, too.
And in six short weeks the mom, the dad, and the big brother fell so crazy in love with Lily that they couldn't imagine life without her. So they decided to keep her forever.