Thursday, June 5, 2008

Things Contributing to My Sleeplessness

My body temperature. My boys are sleeping beneath quilts, doning long pants and wearing socks. Me? I am constantly wanting to strip down to my unmentionables and lather my whole self in cold cream. (Sigh!) I fear for July. And its accompanying utility bills.

My fertile imagination and paranoia -- made worse by the personal safety presentation I attended last week. Every time I wake up for my midnight/wee-morning bathroom trips (those aren't helping me sleep, either,) I lay awake for a spell, wondering if there's an intruder in our house. It's much worse when a poorly timed drop from the ice maker coincides with my bathroom visit -- because that noise? It could have been a burgler! I think the pregnancy intensifies my paranoia, but if you saw the footage and heard the commentary from the sick, SICK pervert who peeped on women through the tiny holes in their mini-blinds, you'd be suspicious of every household noise and have a hard time getting back to sleep in the wee hours, too.

My girth. I am just very large and awkward in the midsection right now. And while I am totally at peace with this fact, relishing my fecundity does make it more difficult to sleep. When I lay on my back I feel like my lungs are strained from the weight of my abdomen. I can usually get decently comfortable on one side or the other, but getting from one side to the other? If there was ever a time I'd give my husband license to compare me to a walrus -- it would be in that endeavor. It is laborious and gruntled.

My dreams. Maybe it is a deep, Freudian Walrus Complex that caused me to have two nightmares about my husband who, in the twisted throes of my subconscious, had suddenly become a philandering ladies man. Whatever the cause, they were devastating dreams and even though I have, in the right-mindedness of daylight, clearly separated fact from wild fiction, the slightest hint of recollection makes me feel a little bit like crying. And it doesn't stop with infidelity. No, no. My dreams run the gammut of weird and disturbing. A few nights ago, I awoke from a terror in which I was trying to ward off angry cockroaches, cockroaches the size of swans, with a can of household Raid. I thought the one I had during my first pregnancy about birthing a litter of kittens instead of a human child was strange, but that one seems quaint compared to the ones I've had lately.

Finally, and completely unrelatedly, I'm doing a little bit of finance/budget-related writing here and would love your input. Are there any financial questions/issues relevant to your current life situation that you'd enjoy reading about/discussing?

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