I've been keeping a little, (but growing,) secret for about twelve weeks now. In my uterus. And up until today, I would have described my feelings about this impending arrival as a curious amalgam of relief, gratitude, disbelief and sort of cautious, restrained excitement.
But this morning I got to hear the sound of that little secret's heart for the very first time and I felt like I could finally exhale the caution and the restraint and just revel in the excitement and gratitude (and lingering whiff of disbelief.)
It's a funny thing, because most of the time I don't have any trouble finding words to talk about the way things make me feel, but right now I can't make a sentence big or good or happy enough to capture what the sounds of that little heart did to my own. So, for now, I'm just reveling. Quietly. Happily...
Hoping this compounding gratitude doesn't give way to chest pain.